On trans visibility

This is a re-edit from my speech for trans day of visibility '25, on visibility of the many different ways to be trans.

We can't even know that we're trans if we don't know what that is, how it can look, which possibilities there are, if we don't have any role models and representation, don't know trans forerunners and generally don't grow up with the belief that we can decide who we want to be – visibility shapes the reality, the backdrop against which we construct our own identities.

Growing up cis

Until I was in my mid twenties, I knew basically nothing about trans identities, except for the transphobic images given to me by mainstream society. Trans in my eyes, was men in wigs, drag, “the” surgery etc. I also had no conception of how people knew that they're trans, it occurred to me more as an innate trait, possibly to be diagnosed by someone rather than something that needs realization.

By now, I see myself as non-binary and trans, even though I don't really fulfill most trans stereotypes. Neither did I “know as a kid”, nor did I have at every point in my life a clear vision of what I want or a straight path to my transition goals. I'm also not transitioning from one gender to a specific other gender that I could clearly name, I'm just looking what fits.

What opened my eyes for a universe of possibilities and ways to be trans, were communities on the internet that lived a radical inclusion policy on the “trans” label. Things like outing ourselves to as many or few people as we want, using any pronouns (even those given at birth), doing as much or little transition as we want. We're trans once we say we are, not once we check a list of things. I've delved into some of those things here.

One of the first contact points with this different conception of gender identity was this Reddit post, which said “There are no entry requirements to the agender club. [..] You don't have to be like any other agender person, we all have our own unique experiences with gender or lack thereof.”

Reading this was very eye-opening at the time and allowed me to ask myself “actually, what gender am I?”. As an AMAB person who, for the longest time, performed a male role, I felt like I couldn't claim such a marginalized identity and the label “trans”, because I was afraid of appropriating other people's struggles. One reason for that feeling is, that trans people (in public discourse and then my eyes), are defined by their oppression and suffering, being trapped in their bodies, etc. There's very little talk of trans joy, the idea of a gender-free utopia, complete self-determination or gender euphoria. There's also no depiction of the process of coming to realize you are trans, it is usually portrayed as a fixed identity that is set in stone.

The public image of trans people

Also with regards to medical transition, there's gatekeeping + stereotypes in the discourse. Many trans people, including me, claim that people should have autonomy over their body and be able to do what they want with it. That also means that people can decide to do hormones, surgeries, laser hair removal, etc., regardless of external hurdles. The reality is different: In many states, including the one that I live in, we need to get psychological evaluations to be able to start hormones. Laser hair removal is expensive, facial feminization surgeries even more and neither is covered by insurance. I.e. is also a question of class who can afford which aspects of a medical transition. And for all of us there's the question of economical and physical safety when we start a transition, especially people who face multiple forms of discrimination. All of this does not only relate to our material access to medical transition, but to our self perception, the pathologization and marginalization continue to have an effect past the moment we experience them in:

We constantly have to tell medical care providers or even some of our cis peers a stripped-down, altered story of the “person trapped in the wrong body who always knew”, in order to gain their acceptance. And that ultimately ingrains itself into our way of thinking, that this narrative is the “normal” way to be trans — and how we differ from it.

This goes even further when we look at how detrans people's stories are appropriated: Especially AFAB detrans people are portrayed as victims of patriarchy with no personal agency and abused for justification of transphobia and erosion of trans rights. Common stories are basically reduced to keywords like “tragic”, “regret” as if it was the worst possible fate for a human to detransition. Seldom are stories about a further developed identity, bodily autonomy or the importance of providing appropriate medical care for detrans people. Of course there are people that do regret their transition and struggle a lot with that. I think we should listen to their stories and needs and support them in those, instead of allowing TERFs to appropriate their experiences and weaponize them against trans people. Detrans people should have space in the trans community and our political demands.

The bottom line is, that the public images of cis, trans and detrans people are highly stereotypical and reductionist and effectively block our path into a liberated life, because we internalize them, apply them to ourselves and try to find ourselves somewhere within the narrow corridor of possibilities that is offered to us.

Overcoming cis and trans normativity

I found it to be very freeing to read other people's experiences, how they just try things to see if they fit. Or to read of more entangled transition paths, like microdosing hormones, taking T + then lasering the beard, taking E + then wearing a binder, transitioning without medical assistance. Every person is unique and so is every trans person.

So, are trans people either “they” or “us”, do people have to walk through a veil of realization from “cis land” to “trans land”, to be allowed to be trans? Who is eligible for medical transition? Where does being trans end and begin? How do genderfluid people fit the picture, or inter, non-binary, detrans and retrans people? What about other queer identities that developed orthogonal to a cis/trans duality?

I have 3 wishes for us: